You are so mean that your standard deviation is zero.
How did the random variable get into the club? By showing a fake i.i.d.
Did you hear the one about the statistician? Probably….
Three statisticians went out hunting and came across a large deer. The first statistician fired, but missed, by a meter to the left. The second statistician fired, but also missed, by a meter to the right. The third statistician didn’t fire, but shouted in triumph, “On the average we got it!”
Two random variables were talking in a bar. They thought they were being discrete, but I heard their chatter continuously.
Statisticians love whoever they spend the most time with; that’s their statistically significant other.
Old age is statistically good for you – very few people die past the age of 100.
Statistics prove offspring’s an inherited trait. If your parent didn’t have kids, odds are you won’t either.
On Artificial Intelligence
Artificial intelligence is no match for natural stupidity
Do Neural Networks Dream of Strictly Convex Sheep?
What did one support vector say to another support vector? Answer: I feel so marginalized
AI blogs are like philosophy majors. They’re always trying to explain “deep learning.”
How many support vectors does it take to change a light bulb? Answer: Very few, but they must be careful not to shatter* it.
Parent: If all your friends jumped off a bridge, would you follow them? Machine Learning Algorithm: yes.
They call me Dirichlet because all my potential is latent and awaiting allocation
Batch algorithms: YOLO (You Only Learn Once), Online algorithms: Keep Updates and Carry On
“This new display can recognise speech” “What?” “This nudist play can wreck a nice beach”
Why did the naive Bayesian suddenly feel patriotic when he heard fireworks? Answer: He assumed independence
Why did the programmer quit their job? Answer: Becauses they didn’t get arrays.
What do you call a program that identifies spa treatments? Facial recognition!
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